We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
