Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
