sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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