so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
