Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
