kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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