Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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