I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
