I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
