This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
