How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize