Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
