She's JV to your varsity
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
