Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
