She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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