shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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