in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize