She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
