I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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