the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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