I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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