i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
