Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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