Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
