Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize