Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize