so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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