I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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