Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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