I wannas sexs uuuuu
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
