Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
