Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
