I am in a vortex of obligation.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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