You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
