I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
