Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
