I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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