I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
