I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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