Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
