somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
