so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
