Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
