would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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