Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
