is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
