You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
