so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up under a house in Key West
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