how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
