I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this will be a night to untag.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
