She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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