You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
