kristin has been a bad kristin
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
