im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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