omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
