$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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