you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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