Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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