It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize